Guest Blog: The Vagina Connection

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was 23 years old (I am 33 now) and I thought to myself, “hmm I have never really looked at my vagina before”. So I sat spread eagle in front of my stand-up mirror and took a long peek under the hood. I was so intrigued and in ahh at how complex it (I now call it her/she) was. 

A man once described it to me better than I ever could so I will share that with you. 

“It looks so beautiful, welcoming, safe and comfortable. A sight of something familiar yet foreign but exciting. A playground of crevices, peaks, and valleys, and skin begging to be explored. It reminded me of a flower, layered petals formed almost perfectly by accident in a very organic way. And just like a flower, it’s something beautiful that draws you in and makes you want to take a closer look and admire it. It’s cute yet empowering, tenacious yet soft. It's beautiful and unique in its own way, just like fine art is supposed to be."

So what had I been afraid of? How could it take me till 23 to take a really good look? Why had I been so disconnected from my vagina? Where did the shame stem from? Why did I not obsess over it like every guy I had ever met obsessed over his penis? So many questions and nowhere to go to ask. I tried to think back to my sex ed classes and only could remember the information given to me about males. Why was it so penis-driven? I learned about wet dreams and male masturbation but could not recall much of anything about female anatomy or female sexuality. 

Fast forward 10 years and I now openly talk about sex on the internet to help remove this sort of shame and stigma from the brains of other women. Instead of just wondering, I decided to start learning on my own. So I began to ask other women if they have looked at their vaginas and if so, how old were they when they first took that faithful glance. First off, the staggering amount of women who had never really looked shocked me but also saddened me. There was a clear and defined shame by even being asked the question. But why?

It is a part of our body, we should be looking at it, we should know what our vagina looks like normally so if there is something abnormal, we can recognize it. We should love our vaginas! Our vaginas should be worshiped! For our vaginas are the gateway to procreation. The strength and agility our vaginas possess, to me, is one of the most beautiful things. The fact they can come in so many different shapes, sizes, and colors makes each one unique, like a snowflake. The way your vagina can make you feel, that lil tingle like a butterfly you get from a kiss or even just something you saw. The list is endless.

Connecting to your vagina is the first step to connecting to your sexuality. Feel and love the power that is between your legs. And once you are in sync, the adventures you two will explore together will be endless! 

Grab a mirror, grab your phone, I don’t care. The time is now to part those curtains and start the show!

I did. And I can truly say not only do I love my muff, but I love my vagina too!

Some resources

• What does a normal healthy vagina look like?
• How to do a self exam
• Planned parenthood - Get to know your vagina
• @rupikaur_: A beautiful Canadian poet and artist who writes openly about female anatomy. She is also Canadian Rupi Kaur
• I love Jacqueline Secor’s Vagina artwork. Here is an amazing article about it with some great pieces in it. Her story is powerful. Hear artwork speaks to my piece about the vagina being a flower.
• An Instagram page I love is @the.vulva.gallery they have great educational material on vulvas and vaginas.

Muff love ❤️

About the author

Blaire aka Mama B is a single working momma with a passion for for kicking down the doors of the societal stigmas placed on sexuality but more specifically female sexuality.

It all started with a video about terrible sex techniques men use on women. It was her unpolished tell it like it is delivery that caught the attention of thousands. Seeing the response and desire for more information and education from both men and women Blaire decided to continue to speak up for those who are too ashamed to.

Blaire is changing people’s perception on sex and helping others to own their O’s. This can only lead to happier more fulfilling sex lives. Sexual confidence is the stepping stone to complete self confidence and Mama B is here to help you on that path.